For those of you who have seen this ep, obviously you know there are not enough words to describe it. If you haven’t seen it yet, then this contains MAJOR spoilers. I’m going to be discussing some key scenes here, so if you are interested, then read ahead, if not - toodles!
First off, Buffy’s decision to attack Caleb a second time - so soon after their previous defeat - leading to her being kicked out of the group. That’s a harsh situation. I feel like she was definitely in the red light here, making such a hasty call, especially after the loss they suffered (and poor Xander). However, I think we can all agree how unfair it was when everyone started attacking her, on a personal level, about her judgement calls, her recklessness, and according to Anya, how she didn’t even deserve her slayer power because she never earned it - it was just given to her (which made me so angry, considering our slayer went through years of heartbreak, pain, sacrifice, watched loved ones die, saved the world a dozen times and died twice. I think earns a pretty solid spot on the slayer award list.) Anyway, I was sure feeling the pain for Buffy during that scene.. especially with Principal Wood putting his say in, and Kennedy.. ugh! Kennedy drives me nuts, she’s so arrogant. ANYWAY.
Secondly, Spike discovering that the group had gotten rid of Buffy due to “disagreements” and are all too ashamed to even admit they did at first. Even though Willow tries to cover it up, Spike sees right through it, and doesn’t hesitate to give them shit.
Spike: So, uh, Buffy took some time off right in the middle of Apocalypse, and it was her decision.
Xander: Well, we all decided…
Spike: Oh yeah, YOU all decided! (scoffs) You sad, sad, ungrateful traitors. Who do you think you are?
Willow: We’re her friends, we just-
Spike: Oh that’s ballsy of you! You’re her friends, and you betray her like this.
Giles: You don’t understand…
Spike: You know I think I do, Rupert. You used to be the big man, didn’t you? The teacher, all full of wisdom. Now she’s surpassed you, and you can’t handle it. She has saved your lives again and again. She has died for you! And this is how you repay her!
After some tumbling around with Faith, he walks out of the house towards the street, then stops for a minute, closes his eyes, and tries to catch Buffy’s scent. Normally I find the whole scent-sniffing thing strange, but not for Spike. I just kept thinking, oh my god, thank god, he’s going to go find her.
Lastly, onto the scene in the house where Spike finds Buffy. I’m not going to go over the speech, in fact I’m barely going to touch this one because I’ll end up writing a novel, and because any Spuffy shipper like myself will have it memorized anyway. My poor little Spuffy heart almost couldn’t handle the moment where he crawls into bed with her, just to hold her… comfort her. Give her the strength she needed to get through that night. This is such a pivotal part of their development, of their relationship, partnership, whatever you choose to call it. Notice how Spike didn’t even think he would be able to stay in the bed with her when she asked, he was going to sleep on the chair. But then she asked, and he just looked at her, and I just.. I can’t stand these precious moments now because it reminds me of how far they’ve come and how little time they now have to actually be together and savour it and its just not fair. DAMN YOU JOSS. DAMN YOU AND YOUR MAGNIFICENT HEARTBREAKING CHARACTERS AND LOVE STORIES.